Credits

Thursday, November 02, 2006

NA NA IRO

I'm better, friends around me have shown me how other things doesn't matter when I have 'em rooting and supporting me all the way.. Even when I am being an uber bitch and PMS-ing in front of them. It's people like them who make your day and let you know that they are there whenever you need them.

Talking with Gladys and Smelly Starfish these few days have been a healing process. In the process of talking to them about their relationships and problems, it allowed me to dig further in me to find out things that I had in me but never had the courage of admitting it. It made me think twice about my own problems and I can now see a bigger and clearer picture (sort of). It's good to know that there's people who agrees with what I say and wants to learn from me. Meehee.

Walking along the beach in the rain today was therapeutic as well. It sounds very emo and I was just laughing at a guy who was doing that when barely half an hour later, I was doing the exact same thing too. Standing at the railings watching the big wide ocean in a misty setting with the rain and wind lashing on your face was dope. I could have stood there forever, never mind about the cold. The cold is secondary, the healing is primary. Sometimes, I feel like crying whenever I'm near the sea because it seemed melancholy, like the sea is full of sorrow and stuffs. And I think about sailors who are on sea and far away from their home and family. Maybe I'm just thinking far too much.

People think that I am strong, emotionally, mentally and physically. But most of the time, I think that I am very weak. Do I know myself better or do the people around me know me better? I have no answer to that. Sometimes, it scares me to know how vulnerable I am because when I trust, I trust completely. Maybe I'm just a big fool at the end of the day. Or then again, maybe those people have never seen me when I was at my weakest. When I am weak, I crumple totally.. To the point that I cannot function at all and I mope around the entire day, making myself feel worse. And then I will keep wanting to go the beach and I will never go in the end because I know that if I did, I would have gave way completely.

Laura's on the mend and Laura is going to be back stronger and better than before. Isn't that what experience is all about? To make one stronger and better? So there, I will be back.

Oh, did I mention that the sandwich vending machine at Block I-don't-know-what is to-die-for? I am so in love with the mushroom cheese sandwich that I have vowed to have one everyday. :D It is so good that just yesterday, I had to make 2 trips to the machine just to settle my craving but not quite. Because I kept wanting to have more. Meehee.

Today's day out with the girls was fun. We had a picnic and stuffed ourselves silly. I love Gladys' maid because she makes good fried rice. I had the best fun showering with them. Meehee, I know Jasmine will attest to that because somehow, both of us love that part of the outing most. It's like a secret (not exactly a secret anymore, though) cheap thrill of ours and the part that we look forward to most. We always have to bathe twice just for the kick of it and rubbing each other's back is seriously very shiok. I could have done that the entire day. I swear that if the shower area was anywhere near us in normal circumstances, we would have gone there to shower the entire day for everyday!

Trip home was yet another listless journey with Gladys talking to me about alot of stuffs. Things that I do not really want to believe in because even though she was trying to cheer me up, it might make things worse at the end because of all the disappointments. And I know she was only trying to make me feel happy and saying things that I wanted to hear. Thanks, dear. :) But maybe time will tell. :)

On the way home, I walked past the field and I saw the Sports & Wellness class. The only person who was laughing and smiling throughout the whole training was Shafiq (is that how his name is spelt?). I stopped by just to watch him play, all the while thinking about how someone could ever be so happy and in a careless sort of way. And feeling that I needed some of his infectious happiness to rub onto me.

Side-note: The girls were ........ . They were the "EII! So muddy." and other what have you sort of girls. And the way they held the balls were -.-" . It was as though the balls had shit on them or something. I love my Thunder team the best because the girls were tough. We were all for the game and I bet we were one of the best! :D I will not forget how Hazmi was always so gay and funny, how Zep and Daryl always gayed around together and the outing that our group had. ;) Thunder team, OOOSHH!

Okays, I'm off to bath (yes, again) because I just realised I've had the heater switched on for an hour plus now.